Releasing Unrealistic Expectations

During this talk, the lojong commitment “Don’t Put A Horse’s Load On A Donkey” was reviewed.  The emphasis of the commitment is to avoid idealizing expectations of self or others, that is, to avoid perfectionism.  One of the benefits of being relieved of the stress and confusion of the five hindrances is the release of energy into the process of awareness.  This can manifest as overreaching one’s capabilities, or displacing responsibility on others, thereby expecting too much of their capabilities.  This leads to contempt and a feeling of disconnection from self and others.  A goal of this practice is to become clearly aware of how self-organization either leads to clarity or to confusion, and eventually understanding how to release the “hardened” expectations that result from craving and clinging.

Here are the notes for the discussion:  MANAGING THE BURDEN OF RESPONSIBILITY

Here is the worksheet provided for those attending the meeting:  Relationship Responsibility Worksheet

Avoiding Toxic Ego Food

During this evening’s discussion, modern neuroscientific research was reviewed which suggests that activated neural pathways become more richly connected when “fed” by increased blood flow.  When unwholesome self-organizations are repeatedly enacted, the result is toxic.  A distinction was emphasized regarding external and internal “ego food”, that is, how modern entertainment and distractions provide external stimulation, while internal processes are either enhanced or depleted in their power by the amount of attention given to them in the mind.  Peter read the excerpt from the Four Foundations of Mindfulness discourse that describes being aware of the transitory nature of self-organizations (fourth foundation, regarding the arising and passing of the five aggregates of clinging).  These principles support the awareness qualities found in the lojong mind training commitments.

This review was followed by a lively discussion regarding the prevalence of external “junk food media” and how  being mindful of how the internal processing of the stimulation can be used to practice tonglen, that is, the ability to transform internal processes with compassion.

Here are the notes prepared for this talk:  BENEVOLENT EGO FOOD

Next week’s discussion will focus on the lojong aphorism “Don’t rely on consistency.”

Turning Humiliation Into Humility

This talk addresses the problems of perfectionism, which often manifest as internal narratives that are shame-based.  Various lojong mind training aphorisms were reviewed to clarify how the applications of the aphorisms can support transforming feelings of shame and humiliation into humility.  Humility can be understood as recognizing the enormous complexity of external and internal conditions that are part of life, and how this recognition can reveal the interdependence/selflessness that is a core realization of Buddhist practice.  The internal transformation from humiliation to humility is accomplished with the practice of tonglen, which reforms self-organization through compassion.

Here are the notes prepared for this presentation:   LETTING GO OF PERFECTIONISM

Next week’s topic will be the aphorism “Give Up Toxic Ego Food”.

Balancing Emotions As Circumstances Change

The focus of this talk is how the Four Noble Truths are manifested while applying the lojong mind training aphorisms.  Reviewing aphorisms discussed in previous meetings, Peter described how the cultivation of internally stable focus and emotional balance creates the optimal “platform of awareness” for the practice of vipassana.  Vipassana, in turn, reveals the physical, emotionally urgent driver of the internal narrative-the “selfing story”-and thi is the first Noble Truth, direct awareness of internal distress and confusion. This practice then reveals the “dreamlike” characteristics of the “selfing” process, distinguishing the difference between the internal narrative and the more fundamental experience of physical sensation, the craving and clinging characteristic of the second Noble Truth.  The decrease potency of emotional reactivity provides detachment and relief from the distress and confusion, characteristic of the third Noble Truth, and the fourth Noble Truth, the Eightfold Path, provides the ways and means to accomplish this.  This ability to combine clear awareness and benevolent intention fulfills the core teaching of lojong, tonglen, the Tibetan practice of compassion.  Here are the notes prepared for the talk:  Balancing The Changing Mind

Next week’s discussion will explore the importance of Right Speech in relationships.

Four Applications For Spiritual Growth

This talk reviewed the progressive steps from initial establishment of stable focus and internal tranquility through to last week’s exploration of how to work with confusion.  The new aphorism involves four applications to further spiritual development: cultivating a more integrated series of self-states motivated by lovingkindness and compassion, maintaining an ongoing investigation of emerging self-states, taking corrective action when a previous life experience has produced confusion and disturbance, particularly in relationships, and actively seeking and making best use of those whose studies and practices warrant trust and respect.  This was followed by discussion of how these four applications can be developed and maintained.

Here are the notes Peter prepared for this discussion:  FOUR WAYS TO TURN POISON INTO MEDICINE

Next week’s discussion will focus on the next aphorism: “In order to take unexpected conditions as the path, immediately join whatever you meet with meditation.”  This involves learning how to remember and quickly bring the investigation of emerging self-states into daily life experience.